Okay guys, especially all of you men who really want to be amazing lovers, I have a secret to tell you. Reading women’s favorite erotic novels can solve a lot of the mystery about female sexual psychology. Yes, 50 Shades of Grey can clue you into so much about what we fantasize about and desire in the bedroom. I’ve been training men on the topic of becoming Master lovers for over 15 years now. Many of them are surprised when I tell them that they can learn a lot from reading books about female sexual fantasies and romance novels. I think that any smart man who wants to please those of the female persuasion should run out right now and buy 50 Shades of Grey. Here’s Why:

1. Women’s Want To Be Taken- Yes, I know guys, most of you have been taught that women don’t want sex as much as men. You’ve been taught to be the “nice guy”. However, I get letters from women everyday asking me how they get their guy to be a little more dominant in bed. They want to be “taken”, they want to surrender and to have permission to deeply let go into their pleasure. Christian Grey is one such man, giving women all over the world the fantasy of being dominated by a man. Take notes guys.

2. Sexual Communication and Negotiation Skills- Women actually love authenticity when it comes to communicating your desires. While you may not want to write out an entire contract like Christian Grey does, you can talk to your lover about what they want in bed. In my opinion, we don’t talk enough about sex. We feel ashamed of our desires, especially if they are considered kinky or out side of the norm. There is something incredibly sexy about a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to express it. When sharing a sexual desire with your partner make sure that you also express why that desire is such a turn on.

3. Become a Sexual Master- While I don’t believe that men should always have erections on demand, you can become an master lover and artist in the bedroom by educating yourself. There is a lot to learn from how Christian Grey sets up sexual scenarios and plays with Ana’s body. I am a huge believer in hands on sex education. You can read lots of books but there is nothing like working with a real body. Learn how to play with toys, how to do simple restraints, how to give erotic massage. Learn hand and mouth combinations and most importantly how to turn her on psychologically. Most men are clueless when it comes to really pleasing women, even if you think you are pleasing your lover, there is always more.

4. Put Some Thought Into It- It is very evident that Christain Grey gives Ana something that every woman wants- PRESENCE. He is present enough to notice the things that she loves. On their first outing together he notes that she loves a particular brand of tea. When they wake together in the morning he has that tea for her. It’s these little things that say that you noticed and that you are thinking of us women that makes us swoon. Listen, pay attention, be 100% present as much as possible and then do something out of the ordinary that says that you were paying attention. Create a magic moment that she will remember forever.

5. Confidence is Super Sexy- This ties back into getting some really good sexuality education. If you are tentative in bed it can be a big turn off. Women can smell lack of confidence in you. When you know what you are doing, when you feel you have efficacy and control in the bedroom then we are drawn to you like a magnet. Christian Grey is super confident and he takes care of Ana in a powerful way, which amps up his sex appeal to women all over the world. Read the book. Trust me, it will fill you in on a lot. Go out get some kegel balls, a flogger, good handcuffs, and learn how to use them. Oh, and start wearing a grey tie, any woman who read the book will start thinking about sex the minute they see you wearing it!

Guys, what do you think of the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon? I’d love to hear your point of view.

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